You Went Back To Your Place
by Spring Turkey
Summary: Did no one bother to ask how I see things? That was the hardest decision I ever had to make, and if I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing. But, I wish she never loved me......................


**I'm writing this fic because I've had it. I love Mei Ling, she's my fave character, ask anyone I know. But too many people take Mei Ling's side or Sakura's side but no one ever thinks about what Syaoran thinks! So I'm writing this fic based on how I think Syaoran feels about all of this. Also Mini Sweety's I Am Beautiful made me think how everyone always cares about SAKURA, who I HATE!**

**#$$##ONE SHOT##$$#**

**She was practically my best friend. Then I found out we were engaged. It made me miserable. It was complocated for a while, but I got over it. For some reason, it felt weird to go to Tomeda without her. It felt strange to not be under her watchful eye about the girl I spoke too, or who stared at me the wrong way. It was funny, but not in a 'haha' kinda way. **

**Before I left, I asked my mother why. She said it was improtant to stay in the family because of the magic the Li family posesses. She really didn't want to, so I accepted it and decided I would marry her. She must have loved me if she wouldn't let anything happen to me.**

**The day I was leaving, mother made sure she was at school. Mother called and told me that when she found out I was gone, she cried. She started training everyday to prove that she was strong enough to come help me capture the Cow cards. **

**Then I met Sakura.**

**It all changed. I started feeling different. A way I'd never felt before. It was hard for me because my cousin, my best friend, would be heartbroken if she found out I loved some one else. I was her whole world, I didn't want to make it come crashing down on her, so I resisted these feelings for so long, I forgot how to feel.**

**Then I became the cold, mean person you all knew me as. I could feel, I chose not too for Mei Ling's sake. Everytime I could, I said something to hurt Sakura, although she never showed it. As the days went on, it became harder and harder to pretend I had no feelings.**

**When Mei Ling finally came, I felt guilty. I knew it wasn't my fault. After I while I could tell she was denying it, but she knew the truth. That's why she was rude to Sakura. **

**Mei Ling rarely spoke to me when she was at home. Only about the cards, or about how she didn't like 'that Sakura girl'. Sakura was definately not Mei Ling's type. Sakura was kind, sweet and pretty. Everything she hated. Sure Mei Ling was beautiful, but that didn't help if everyone was scared of her.**

**When she was leaving, I could see the tears she was holding back. She didn't mind Tomoyo, but Sakura still ticked her off.**

**After we met Eriol, I thought it would be easier because I explained my problem to him. He suggested telling Mei Ling I loved Sakura, but still marrying her. It didn't sound so bad until Sakura started to act different around me.**

**She was less talkative and went with me what ever chance she got. She would spend long periods of time alone with Tomoyo, talking.**

**One day Tomoyo came up to me and said 'She loves you, you know.' and walked off. Everything became complicated that day.**

**How this happened, I didn't know.**

**For weeks I'd have dreams about what would happen if I stayed with Mei Ling, or went with Sakura. Each dream got worse. Either way, I was letting one of them down.**

**I stayed in Tomeda for three years. **

**Sakura was able to successfully capture and transform all the cards in two years, minus the extra card under Eriol's house. I told Sakura I loved her right before I left.**

**Mei Ling was so happy when I got home. In four years I was getting married.**

**I lived my life normally. **

**Pretending I'd never known Sakura broke me apart a little everyday. Some days I'd forget her completely, others, every memory of her came flooding back.**

_I won't forget even if we're apart_

_I went back to my place_

_to the unchanging place_

_you went back to your place_

**Two years went by, I was starting to wonder if Sakura had forgotten me. I definately hadn't forgotten her.**

_when I'm about to forget my true feelings_

_I felt the soft sunlight_

_those times, the unseen answer_

_I kept on going after it_

**Mei Ling occasionally asked what was wrong.**

_looking over me anytime_

_the kind voice echoes in the sky, spreading_

**One day my sister Xefia came up to me and told me I needed to tell Mei ling. But I couldn't hurt her like that.**

_being blown by the calm wind_

_don't forget now with me_

_we can find it without being lost now_

_don't forget now with you_

**It hurt me inside. I knew I was hurting Mei Ling and Sakura more by not doing what I knew I was supposed to do.**

_falling into a quiet sleep deeply_

_as if I was losing my confused heart_

_it's just that the one and only dream I believe in_

_I won't let go of that_

**Three days before the wedding I was seriously considering leaving Mei Ling at the altar. It seemed the only choice easy for me, but what was easy for me wasn't the right answer.**

**That night, I went into her room, Mei Ling's that is. She was sitting up reading a book. This was the hardest decision of my entire life.**

_everything that is reflected in the end of your smile_

_when it takes on color, it shapes up to the future_

**I took her hand in mine. She smiled at me. She was only sixteen. She could find someone she loved who could return her feelings, but right now, I was not that person.**

_holding onto the same memory_

_I think that we grow up_

_the two wamth that still met now_

_keeping it important forever_

**I told her "Mei Ling, you are the most important person to me." she smiled. "But I can't marry you." She leaned her head on my shoulder.**

**She said she knew this day would come. She told me she loved me more than I could imagine, but I had to go. She knew if she really loved me, she'd have to let me go.**

**Many of you might think I lied to her, but I didn't. Mei Ling is the most improtant person in the world to me. She was that day and still is now.**

_looking over me anytime_

_the kind voice echoes in the sky, spreading_

_I won't forget even if we're apart_

_I went back to my place_

_to the unchanging place_

_you went back to your place_

**Leaving Mei Ling was the most difficult thing I thing I ever did and will face in my life. She did get married to someone she found. She says she will never love him as she loves me, but she still loves him.**

**That night when I arrived at Sakura's house, I found her crying over old photos of me, Mei Ling, her, Tomoyo and Eriol. Back in our Cardcaptor days.**

**She had told Mei Ling she was sick and couldn't make the wedding. She didn't have Tomoyo anymore. She moved to London with Eriol. Sakura was alone.**

**When she saw me, she hugged me and didn't let go.**

**As you can see, if I did love Mei Ling, none of this would of happened. But I just didn't.**

**She undersatnds.**

_holding onto the same memory_

_I think that we grow up_

_the two wamth that still met now_

_keeping it important forever_

_closing my eyes, similarly_

_like the sky of that day_

_I want to tell you honestly_

disclaimer: i don't own ccs or the song My Place by AiM.


End file.
